'Mommy's boy' debate rages on social media(4)

Cultural values

Florrie Fei-Yin Ng, associate professor at the Chinese University of Hong Kong's educational psychology department, said there is no academic research yet on the topics of "baby man" or "mommy's boy".

"In clinical psychology, a mommy's boy is viewed as an unhealthy dependence between two people, which betrays their humanity," Ng said. "When a mother and her son are apart, they are unable to function independently, as they have become too close and the boundaries of their relationship have not been properly defined."

Ng added that this kind of dependence could also be present in other relationships such as that between husband and wife, or in other romantic situations.

"But such dependence renders a bond unhealthy. It is important for a person to have the ability to think and act independently, which is a characteristic that leads to action. A person should be able to decide whether they want to do something or not, and they should have the ability to continue their life in a healthy manner, even when they are alone."

In 2013, Ng carried out research in two middle schools on China's east coast with two fellow experts to study whether Chinese mothers have more control over their children than those living in a small urban area in the Midwest of the United States.

The study found that in the US, children are encouraged to express their thoughts and opinions openly, even if this means disagreeing with others.

Ng said: "The culture in China emphasizes diligence and hard work, with a strong expectation for children to study every day when they come home from school. Children's emotions are easily suppressed, as their academic achievements are prioritized over personal wellbeing. While children achieve good grades, a sense of unease or dissatisfaction still exists, which comes at a cost.

"I believe that even if you excel in one field, you still have a persistent feeling of inadequacy, which is ingrained in Chinese children from childhood, perhaps through the words of our parents, who tend to focus on what we can improve, rather than our accomplishments.

"As a result, we constantly look for ways in which we can improve, rather than acknowledging our strengths."

Ng said this may not be the case in the US, where children are more confident about their abilities. She added that this lack of self-confidence among Chinese children often leads to them depending on others, which might be one of the reasons there are now more "mommy's boys".

In 2017, a survey by China Youth Daily found that 61 percent of 2,002 respondents said there was a "mommy's boy" who is close to them, while 66.5 percent of the interviewees said that such boys develop this trait due to excessive parental dotage.