Virtual world can never replace real world

Do you find it upsetting or annoying when you are in the middle of a conversation with friends or relatives, and one of them ignores you and keeps constantly checking their phone? This is not a rare phenomenon, and you are bound to meet at least one person who does this during Spring Festival.

Commiserations, you have encountered a phubber, a smartphone addict who snubs others by checking their mobile phones.

Perhaps you are a phubber yourself?

In a survey conducted by the Capital Normal University's counseling center, 77 percent of respondents admitted that they had their mobile phones on for 12 or more hours a day with 33.55 percent having it on 24/7. Moreover, 65 percent "felt somehow anxious without their mobile phones by their side" and nine of ten of the interviewees said they could not do without their phones. For phubbers, their smartphone is an umbilical cord connecting them to their "real" lives, which are conducted in cyberspace.

But staying up late to refresh micro blog accounts, send messages via WeChat, play games, browse the latest news or watch videos via mobile applications is not only exhausting, its likely to be bad for the eyes, if nothing else. According to research findings published in an ophthalmological journal, when reading text messages or using smartphones to surf the Internet, people tend to hold the phone closer to their eyes than they would read a book or newspaper, which means there is a greater likelihood of eye strain. Using smartphones for long periods of time can also lead to insomnia, thumb tendinitis and neck and back problems due to the sustained pressure on the spinal joints.

And phubbing can be dangerous in other ways. Take the situation in the US for example. Statistics from the Ohio State University showed that in 2007 some 600 pedestrians were injured in traffic accidents because they had their eyes on their phones instead of the roads, and the number had risen to 1,500 in 2010. Such accidents, where people are too busy concentrating on their phones instead of taking care of their surroundings happen worldwide, and are on the increase.

But that's not all, more importantly being a phubber harms relationships and endangers social life.

"The farthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and the death, but the distance between us when you are playing with your phone when I am standing in front of you." Ironically, such quotes circulate widely on the Internet, vividly demonstrating people's love-and-hate relationship with their smartphones, gadgets that bring so much convenience to our lives, but which cause so much dysfunction in interpersonal interactions.

Our over-dependence on smartphones, to whatever degree, means many of us forget the importance of talking to those close to us face to face. Yet we are genetically programmed for face-to-face communication; our brains are wired so we can recognize faces and interpret facial expressions.

But phubbing increases people's indifference toward others and exacerbates the estrangement between people, even among family members.

Consequently, and not surprisingly, "Stop Phubbing" movements have been launched worldwide. For example, one interesting way to deter phubbing that has caught on is to place everyone's phone in a pile during a meal or other gathering, and anyone who cannot help reaching for their phone has to pay the bill or some other penalty.

Perhaps from this weekend on, we should all start a phone fast, to free ourselves from our phone addictions, paying a penalty if we break our fast.

However, as adults, we should be able to consciously reduce the amount of time we spend on our phones and tablets. We should cultivate our brains and social skills by engaging with the people around us in real world rather than disappearing into a virtual world of strangers. For the pocket-sized-screen generation, who have little self-control and who give in easily to the siren call of cyberspace and hence spend less time communicating with both their peers and others, parents should set a time limit on daily phone and tablet use. They should encourage their kids to engage with the real world by setting a good example themselves.

If you, or someone you know, are a phubber, don't worry, the condition can be cured, although it will require a little effort. And those worrying that it means the end of human civilization can calm themselves with the thought that it is just a temporary by-product of the present technology.

One day people will realize that, no matter how wonderful the virtual world may seem, it can never replace the real world. Technology may bridge the physical distance between people, but the heart-to-heart distance can only narrow down with the help of person-to-person communication.

The author is a writer with China Daily.