Sān gè yuè zhīhòu, lián běn dài lì hái gěi nǐ, wǒ zhè jiù xiě jiètiáo.
三个月之后,连本带利还给你,我这就写借条.
B: You don't need to do that.
Bùyòng zhème máfan.
不用这么麻烦.
A: I insist. It's said that, 'Financial matters should be settled clearly even between brothers.
Háishì yào de. Qīn xiōngdì míng suànzhàng ma.
还是要的.亲兄弟明算账嘛.
Lending to a friend who's genuinely in need can be like delivering coal on a cold, snowy day, or 雪中送炭 (xuě zhōng sòng tàn). As a general rule, 救急不救穷 (jiù jí bù jiù qióng), that is, you lend financial aid to those in an emergency, but not those who are perennially in need of money. If you find yourself in the position of the lender facing a not-so-urgent situation, you won't want to say "no." You'll tap-dance around it, but you don't want to look like a jerk. For this tactic, some pretexts are necessary.
If it's not obvious, you need to plead poverty. To end the conversation quickly, the best method is to make it clear that you have no money. Based on this principle, the only thing you need to do is to give some believable whereabouts for your cash.
I'd like to, but all my money is tied up in stocks.
Wǒ yě xiǎng jiè gěi nǐ, dàn shǒu shàng de qián dōu bèi gǔpiào tàoláole.
我也想借给你,但手上的钱都被股票套牢了.
Or, the "Double 11" shopping circus can be blamed.
If only you'd come to me a week earlier! I spent my paycheck during Double 11.
Nǐ yàoshi shàng gè xīngqí lái zhǎo wǒ jiù hǎole! Wǒ shuāng shíyī bǎ gōngzī dōu huāle.
你要是上个星期来找我就好了！我双十一把工资都花了.
The second strategy is finding a scapegoat, claiming that you are not the one who controls the purse strings. Just transfer the responsibility to your parents or spouse and say that you have no say in financial matters.
My wife manages the money in our family and I am afraid she won't agree.
Wǒmen jiā shì wǒ lǎopó guǎn qián, kǒngpà tā bù huì tóngyì.
我们家是我老婆管钱,恐怕她不会同意.
The most effective way to avoid lenders is to live a low-key life and show them you don't have much to offer. Nip any attempt to borrow money in the bud. Folk wisdom tells us: if you are poor, no one bothers visiting even if you live downtown, but if you are wealthy, distant relatives come to your door even if you live deep inside a mountain. (贫居闹市无人问,富在深山有远亲.Pín jū nàoshì wú rén wèn, fù zài shēnshān yǒu yuǎnqīn.)
If you are faced with a true friend that you really care for, be as generous as you like, but remember that no matter how good of a friend they are, they may be a horrible debtor. When the deadline is due and they don't have your money or a reasonable explanation, things can get very ugly. As we say in Chinese, 欠债还钱,天经地义.(Qiàn zhài hái qián, tiānjīngdìyì. Paying back debts is a mandate of heaven.) Still, be gentle.
