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A working mom’s open letter to Gwyneth

2014-04-16 17:31 China Daily Web Editor: Yao Lan
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A working mom's open letter to Gwyneth

Dear Gwyneth,

I really enjoyed your recent comments to E! about how easy an office job is for parents, compared to the grueling circumstances of being on a movie set. "I think it's different when you have an office job, because it's routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening," you said. "When you're shooting a movie, they're like, 'We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,' and then you work 14 hours a day, and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it's not like being on set."

As a mother of a toddler, I couldn't agree more!

"Thank God I don't make millions filming one movie per year" is what I say to myself pretty much every morning as I wait on a windy Metro-North platform, about to begin my 45-minute commute into the city. Whenever things get rough, all I have to do is keep reminding myself of that fact. It is my mantra.

And I know all my fellow working-mom friends feel the same. Am I right, ladies?

We're always gabbing about how easy it is to balance work and home life. Whenever I meet with them at one of our weekly get-togethers — a breeze to schedule, because reliable baby sitters often roam my neighborhood in packs, holding up signs peddling their services — we have a competition to see who has it easier. Is it the female breadwinners who work around the clock to make sure their mortgages get paid, lying awake at night, wracked with anxiety over the idea of losing their jobs? Or is it the mothers who get mommy-tracked and denied promotions? What about the moms with "regular" 9-to-5 jobs, who are penalized when their kids are sick and they don't have backup child care?

Those women are living the dream, I tell you!

Which reminds me, child care. As you know, Gwynnie, having a staff can be a real drag. It's so hard to find good help these days! That's why it's a good thing there's all this nationally subsidized, high-quality day care lying around for the taking. It just makes things easier knowing you have such a strong support network and don't have to pay someone anywhere from $30K to $65K annually to take care of your child full-time.

You mentioned in your E! interview that when someone has an office job, "You know you can do all the stuff in the morning," and that hit the nail on the head. As someone with an office job, my mornings are obviously pretty leisurely. Sometimes I even have time to drink half of my coffee before it gets cold! After my 6 a.m. wake-up, I have a lot of time to loll around, hopping in the shower and then throwing makeup on my face, hoping that I'll have enough time to put my tights on before my son starts crying in his crib. Then, when he does start crying, I have to make the decision: Do I get fully dressed, or do I go tend to him with my hair still dripping wet? Talk about being spoilt for choice!

Then I have a few Bellinis and adjust my 401(k) contributions.

After I get home from work, I'm full of energy and ready to cook dinner using one of the recipes you post on your lifestyle Web site, Goop: slow-cooked kale, pancetta and bread crumbs, anyone? After that, I'll go to yoga, spend a few hours meditating and maybe do some online shopping, picking up a pair of $350 white leopard-printed short-shorts via Goop in preparation for the "spring break" I'll take with my husband and son.

If there's one thing I look good in after having a child, it's short-shorts.

So, Gwyneth, you've figured out the secret of working parents everywhere: Livin' la vida desk job is a breeze compared to the 14-hour days of a film set. Fourteen hours? Who in New York — especially those in the finance, law and tech professions — could possibly work 14 whole hours?

Luckily, those 9-to-5 "ordinary job" hours grow on trees here.

And if you lose one, all you have to do is find another.

Yours, Mackenzie

 

上班族妈咪致格温妮丝的公开信

《纽约邮报》3月27日刊登了一位上班族妈咪给格温妮丝的公开信。

亲爱的格温妮丝:

我真的好喜欢你最近在E!电视节目上说的话。你说和从事电影业人那种筋疲力尽的窘境相比,有一份办公室工作的父母真是太幸福了。“我认为从事办公室工作很不一样,因为这种工作的工作时间是比较固定的,白天做完所有事情,然后晚上回家。”你说道,“拍电影时的感觉就好像是要去威斯康辛州待两周一样,每天工作14小时。哦,这太艰难了。虽然还是有一定挑战,但我觉得上班族妈咪不像电影明星那样劳累。”

我的孩子才刚学会走路,因此我对你说的表示强烈同意。

几乎每个早晨,我站在风吹的向北地铁站台,准备开始到市中心的45分钟行程时,总会对自己说“谢天谢地,幸好我不用每年拍一部数百万美元的电影。”每每遇到棘手问题,我都会这样告诉自己。这句话就是我的口头禅。

据我所知,身边已做了母亲的同事朋友们都是这么想的。女士们,我说的没错吧?

我们总是说在工作和家庭生活中寻求平衡是件轻而易举的事。每次我在每周一次的固定小聚会上聊天时,总会拿保姆来作比较。保姆们经常提着大包小包,举着求职牌子在我家附近转悠。看看哪一个更轻松吧。是那些夜以继日工作但却无法保证交得起房屋贷款,晚上躺在床上担心饭碗,养家糊口的妇女,还是那些在职场上难以获得晋升机会,有一份朝九晚五的工作却在孩子生病时感到煎熬又没有照顾孩子的备选方案的职场妈咪呢?

还在做梦的妈妈们,让我来告诉你吧!

别忘了还有托儿所!众所周知,格温妮丝重担缠身。现在这个时代要找个好帮手真是太难了。因此附近可供选择的公立高质量日托所是很不错的选择。这能够让你获得巨大的帮助,让事情变得轻松,而且你还不用每年付给全职照顾小孩的保姆3-6.5万美元。

在E!的节目采访中,你一针见血地说上班族可以在早上办完事。作为上班族的我,早上有大把大把的悠闲时光。有时,我甚至在咖啡冷掉前能喝下半杯!早上六点之后醒来,我就无所事事,洗洗澡,打扮打扮,在躺在婴儿床里的孩子哭之前我还有充足的时间套上紧身衣。当孩子开始哭时,我才需要做出抉择:我要好好打扮一番还是带着湿漉漉的头发去照顾孩子呢?我有太多可选择的余地啦!

接下来,我会喝点鸡尾酒,规划下我的401k退休福利计划。(适用美国私人公司的一种延后课税的退休金账户计划,因相关规定在国税法第401K条中而得名。)

下班回来,我精神饱满地准备按照Goop(一个提倡健康生活方式的网站)上的菜单做饭:文火烹调的蔬菜汤、意大利熏肉和面包屑。再然后,我会去做做瑜伽,沉思几个小时或者上网购物,根据Goop的推荐挑选一条350美元的白色豹皮短裤,用来在春假和丈夫孩子一块出门的时候穿。

生完孩子后,我穿起来还算好看的也只有短裤了。

格温妮丝,你深谙上班族父母的诀窍:办公室工作跟每天工作14小时电影人比真的不算什么。那些在华盛顿工作,特别是从事金融、法律和科技的人很可能一天要满满地工作14小时吧?

幸好幸好,这些朝九晚五的“普通工作”还是很多的。

要是丢了一份,你还是能找到另一份的。

麦肯兹

 

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