Li Feng/China Daily
Finding the right person to lend a hand around the home can be a chore and a half
Xiao Jia finally left my parents after my father decided to move into a rehabilitation center.
We called her Xiao Jia (Little Jia) instead of using her full name. The woman in her late 40s from Gansu province, followed a string of 20 other ayi, or housemaids, I had hired for my parents after my father fell and damaged cervical vertebrae, making it difficult for him to move around unaided for the past four years. When Xiao Jia left she had worked for us for little more than a month.
"She was slow, a bit dumb and lazy, with a step-mother's face," my father said after she left. My mother complained: "She never followed my instructions in doing the chores," adding that she was hard to communicate with and her cooking was dreadful.
"We tried to put up with her because we knew it's hard for you to find another one," my parents, both 84, said.
They were right, and it was also one of the main reasons my father decided to go to the rehabilitation center.
Anyone setting out to look for an ayi for their parents is embarking on a mission that can be highly stressful.
I had a contract with a housemaid agency to which I paid an annual service fee of 600 yuan ($90). Whenever I was looking for someone new the agent would refer potential candidates to me. Over the four years wages for the ayi rose from 2,500 yuan a month to 4,000 yuan a month, on top of free accommodation and food.
In that time I interviewed more than 30 rural women. Most of the 20 lasted less than four or five days and two stayed for a year, but in those two cases I had to find a replacement during the Spring Festival holiday period. During the absence of the housemaid on most public holidays and at weekends I took care of my parents.
Professional training
I did not mind paying high amounts of money as long as those I was paying were conscientious in their work. However, I feel none of them was satisfied with what they got and gave little thought to what they needed to do to merit it. Few of the women had had any professional training in caring for elderly people either.
Once when I asked one of the ayi whether she had any such experience she replied:
"It's an easy job; I just do exactly what I do at home."
Many of them promised to treat my parents as though they were their own, but of course I knew that was not only an exaggeration, but almost an impossibility. In fact I generally gave short shrift to such talk and said that all they needed to do was follow instructions and work to the best of their ability.
The skills needed to be an ayi should not be underestimated. They include knowing how to behave appropriately, how to cook and how to communicate with elderly people, many of whom can be very set in their ways. To do these things you need training, and for things to work properly I think there needs to be a certain distance between employer and employee, notwithstanding the mutual respect required.
