Single people interview each other during a matchmaking event in Hangzhou, Zhejiang province on May 29, 2016. More than 20,000 singletons participated in the event. (Photo/IC)
The pressure can become so intense that some young single people, driven to despair by the endless nagging and frequent xiangqin, will try every means to avoid phone calls from their parents or try to avoid returning home, even during public holidays which are usually devoted to family reunions.
Some even "rent" partners - total strangers - to go home with them during Spring Festival or the Mid-autumn Festival, just to assuage their parents and relatives.
Zhang refuses to rent a boyfriend, calling the idea "absurd". Instead, she opts to travel for the duration of the holidays: "It's not that I don't want to find a life partner, I'm just waiting for the right person."
She said she has learned from the experience of her older sister, who rushed into marriage with a man her parents thought would make a suitable match.
The union ended after just a year, when Zhang's sister found herself in an intolerable situation because of frequent arguments with her husband.
Despite the failure of the marriage, Zhang's parents still believe that it is better to marry at the perceived "correct time" than to be left out.
Even though Zhang finds it hard to disobey her parents, she refuses to concede to their wishes because she doesn't want to become a potential divorcee.
In the past decade, marital breakdown has become more prevalent in China. Last year, more than 3.8 million couples divorced, a rise of 5.6 percent from the previous year, while the number that married fell by 6.3 percent to about 12 million, according to the Ministry of Civil Affairs.
Song Qingjia, a psychologist who has worked extensively in Beijing and Hebei, said 30 percent of his customers consult him about marital problems, 10 percent of which are caused by rushed marriages.
Understanding and patience
Like Zhang, Christie is not keen on becoming a divorce statistic, so he is biding his time. However, even though he is of marriageable age, his mother supports his decision to wait.
"I grew up in a single-parent home, so having a whole family where both parents love each other is extremely important to me," he said, adding that he wouldn't want his children to grow up in the situation he did.
His mother, who said she wants to see him married with children, occasionally asks him about his prospects.
"She trusts me, and knows that it will happen in good time. We agreed that I'd rather wait for a good family than rush into a mediocre one," he said.
"But now I'm in China, so my mom might have been tempted to chuckle a little if I had told her I was kind of being pressured by 'Chinese parents'," he said, adding that the situation has never arisen in any relationship he has had in China.
Looking for dates
Li Youdong is a clinical psychologist at the First Hospital of Hebei Medical University. Her 22-year-old daughter is studying for a doctorate in economics, but she won't obtain it until 2020, by which time she will be 26.
Li is concerned that it will be too late for her daughter to find a suitable match after she graduates. "I have started asking colleagues and friends to introduce her to a potential boyfriend," she said. "By then she may only be able to marry a leftover man, rather than an excellent one."
Li is also concerned that if her daughter doesn't marry before she is 28, she could miss the optimum time to have a baby. "It's for her own good," she said.
Different standards
Experts say Li's concerns are not entirely without foundation.
"The best years for a woman to give birth are from 25 to 29," said Qiao Jie, head of the Society of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the Chinese Medical Association, in an interview with China Central Television.
As a psychologist, Li said she understands that young people and their parents have different standards for life partners, and the younger generation has little sense of time in this matter.
"Children should communicate with their parents to reduce their anxieties, and parents should give their children enough freedom and time to choose their perfect life partner," she said.
