Wang Jiali, 37, Yinchuan
I'm on the boyfriend's side- - the Shanghai girl was just too impulsive. Things have changed a lot through the generations. Back in our time when people were less materialistic, a lot of people got married in spite of different backgrounds and lived peaceful married lives. But today many young people and some parents make wealth the big consideration for marriage.
It was very rude of the girl to escape after just one New Year meal in the village. The Spring Festival is a big day for Chinese families but the spoiled generations do whatever they want. How typical! How heartbroken the boy's family must be. I'm skeptical about the Shanghai girl's education - I don't think she's well-bred.
If my son takes his girlfriend home, he must be really serious about their relationship. I will certainly respect her no matter where she's from. But if he tells me his girlfriend comes from a quite different background to us when they have just met, I'll talk him out of it.
Shanghai locals tend to look down upon anyone from outside the city. My husband and I are not from Shanghai but all of our family loves our only son. As parents, we don't think our child is anything less than very precious. So if my son wants to wed a fussy Shanghainese wife or someone with a condescending Shanghainese mother-in-law, I wouldn't approve of that marriage.
A poor rural area Photo: CFP
Zhou Jing, 36, Shanghai
It was far too impulsive and rude for the girl to leave her boyfriend's home like that, because it was New Year's Eve, a time for the family reunion. And the dinner was also prepared for her. Even if she wanted to break up with her boyfriend, it would have been better to end the relationship a few days later.
On the other hand I can understand her reaction and her decision to break up.
Looking at the shabby New Year's Eve dinner, she might have seen doom and gloom in the future. I agree with her decision because the class gaps and regional differences would be a big challenge for their marriage.
If a couple comes from a similar background, regional differences are not a big problem. However if one of the couple is from a big city and the other is from the country, their lifestyles, habits and values are very different and this can lead to quarrels and misunderstandings.
I've heard of this sort of thing happening before - Shanghai girls being shocked by the poor living conditions.
One of my girlfriends told me that in her boyfriend's village there weren't flushing toilets. And she broke up with her boyfriend after her visit to his hometown.
My girlfriend's parents opposed her going out with a man from another province - they think people from other provinces are poor and unsophisticated.
But many of the men from other places work a lot harder than Shanghai men and they are more considerate and well tempered - this might be why Shanghai girls go out with them.
However when it comes to marriage, the differences in families, lifestyles and values will lead to problems.
Liu Leiming, 22, Shanghai
I can understand the girl's reaction, and how she felt disappointed when she saw the shabby New Year's Eve dinner at her boyfriend's home. It costs a lot to live in Shanghai and this is why most local women attach so much importance to their partner's financial state.
The Shanghai culture also encourages its people to look for good things and aim for higher living standards - this makes some local people look down on poor people.
Shanghai girls wouldn't usually go out with non-local men, let alone men from country areas, so the girl's boyfriend must have looked all right and had the right abilities, education and character. If the girl could accept her boyfriend's good points and accept his family background, they could have stayed together and worked for a better future. But if she couldn't accept his family as they were it's probably for the best that they break up now.
Some of my friends have gone out with girls from outside the city and there are problems. My best friend told me that a girlfriend from Northern China didn't shower every day, and only showered once a week in winter and he couldn't stand that. I don't think this is a big problem because we should respect the way other people live. One of the great things about Shanghai culture is the way it can absorb anything and everything.
