Elderly gay men shrug off guilt after life of denial

An elderly gay couple in Beijing have tested the Chinese public's sensibilities toward homosexuality after they live-twittered their wedding on January 30. The wedding was not sanctioned by the State, but a personal ceremony.

Inspired by the Hong Kong Big Love campaign, the couple, a retired history teacher who calls himself Da Bao ("big treasure"), and a bottled water delivery man known as Xiao Bao, ("small treasure"), posted their wedding pictures, intimate snapshots and videos on Weibo, China's version of Twitter. They soon have gathered over 12,000 fans and received tons of blessings, as well as some criticisms.

"There is nothing wrong with two elderly people falling into love," the couple posted. "If even two old men are brave enough to love, what are you young people waiting for?"　

However, it was not long before Da Bao's unwanted drama entered their lives. Da Bao's son, from his first marriage to a woman, came to the wedding to humiliate the couple, kick over tables and attack the guests.

"It's disappointing that outsiders can bless us but not my own son. This heartless child is sabotaging our happiness," Da Bao wrote.

The drama highlights the hostility and misunderstanding Chinese society holds for elderly gay people. Homosexuality was illegal until 1997 and defined as mental disorder until 2001. Same-sex marriage is still not recognized in China and often causes a stir when gay couples openly hold ceremonies.

Prominent sexologist Zhang Beichuan has estimated that there are at least 30 million homosexual Chinese.

Coming out publicly is a risky step, and is even harder for elderly gay Chinese who have been burdened with discrimination and fear, closed themselves off from the society, and haunted by self-hate for decades.

As China is opening up to the outside world and homosexuality is becoming more and more widely accepted, a few elderly gay people are brave enough to come out to test the public's sensibilities. But they are pained by the lack of respect society affords them.

Li Yinhe, an outspoken sociologist, told the Global Times that the two elder gay men's behavior contributes to the visibility of gay groups.

"It proves that social pressure isn't so strong and public tolerance is improving," she said.

The couple declined the Global Times' interview, saying their hearts are broken and they do not want more extra attention.

Imprisoned for love

Even now, at 74 and with his memories beginning to fade, Xiao Shuang, also known as "Old Paris," recalls his painful experience of being jailed three times for homosexuality under "hooliganism" charges.

"Those years knocked all the self-confidence out of me and made me burdened with guilt and self-denying," Xiao told the Global Times.

The 1979 Criminal Law imposed sentences of up to seven years for "hooliganism," a vague term used to criminalize a wide range of behavior, including many consensual sexual activities, from group sex to sadomasochism to homosexuality.

At that time, rewards were paid for tips that led to the arrest of "hooligans." In 1977 Old Paris was jailed for three years after being turned in by one of his friends, caught in a gay bathhouse, after police interrogation. Later he was jailed under the same charge from 1982 to 1984 and from 1984 to 1986.