Spring cleaning to rid unwanted spouses

Many couples in Beijing favor Spring Festival as the ideal period to part with their increasingly distant lovers and start afresh in the New Year. While some auspicious sweethearts head down the aisle and marry during Spring Festival, many others take the opportunity to dump their not-so-significant other right after New Year's celebrations. This is because they see it as the best time of the year to embrace change and start with a clean slate.

Perhaps the Year of the Dragon blasted a breath of fire early in 2012, but Chinese media reported a peak in the divorce rate immediately after the country's biggest national holiday. This could have been triggered by many people having quarrels during the holiday and temporarily delaying divorce to avoid disturbing the seasonal family reunion. Some courts in Beijing confirmed that both the number of divorces and queries on how to file for them doubled after the holiday.

Several surveys published by foreign magazines confirm that year-end celebrations are also tempestuous times for lovers. It's estimated nearly half of breakups take place between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day. I guess that explains the flurry of friends who recently revised their Facebook status to "single."

"I've dumped three boyfriends over three consecutive New Years," a female friend told me after I confessed my Dragon Year resolution to be done with ex-boyfriend relapses. "This is the right season for catharsis and rejuvenation. It's like spring cleaning; I want to get ready to fall in love again," said a male Chinese friend, adding that the excuse to have somebody to cuddle up to during winter will soon rapidly diminish.

After five years living in Beijing, I now embrace Chinese New Year as an opportunity to be reborn again. I went home to celebrate Christmas and New Year, the kind on the Gregorian calendar. When I returned, my ex-boyfriend had already headed back to his hometown so we ended up being away from each other for over a month.

During this time, we both adopted the expression that "you don't appreciate what you have until it's gone," only we did it in opposite ways. I didn't stop caring for him, but away from the hustle and bustle of life in Beijing I had enough time to gain retrospective of our time together and conclude that we're not meant to survive daily life together. It's a pity that he's not on the same page. He developed some form of amnesia during New Year, and he's ready to start the game all over again without changing his approach.

I recall last year that a Chinese colleague delayed breaking up with her partner because she didn't want to attend a Valentine's Day party alone. Furthermore, she couldn't turn down the opportunity to receive a gift. However, the strategy backfired and she ended up alone and crying a river of tears without getting any of the things she wanted. If such a scenario resonates with you, stop stalling the inevitable.

Until Lantern Festival ushers the end of official Spring Festival celebrations, you have until this coming weekend to settle things properly. Chances are you won't be lonely for long; by the time Valentine's Day rolls around in less than a fortnight, you'll be free as a bird and ready to fall in love again.