The age of the breakneck brides(2)

The value of thrift

Although Yan accepts that weddings have changed he feels the traditional value of thrift should be preserved. "It cost me less than 10,000 yuan ($1,583) to have my wedding back in the 80s. Today a four-day banquet would only cost you about 50,000 yuan," he said.

In contrast, the money newlyweds spend on their weddings is increasing by up to 15 percent every year, according to a survey published by the Shanghai Wedding Trade Association. The average cost of a wedding in the city now is 89,000 yuan.

"This usually includes the banquet, decorating the venue and the fees for the wedding host, the makeup artist, the photographer and the video cameraman," explained Liu Yuling, from Starry Sky Wedding Planning, who has been in the industry for nearly 10 years. Liu told the Global Times that her company had never been asked to plan a traditional four-day wedding.

"Women born in the 80s and 90s are fond of Western-style weddings. Almost every girl adores the idea of dressing up in a white wedding gown. They think it's romantic," she said. "The old-fashioned wedding that emphasized bustling and noisy celebrations doesn't appeal to them any more."

And she said receptions in air-conditioned hotels let brides dress as they liked regardless of the weather, whereas open-air receptions had limits.

Newlywed Xu Liping said while she thought it was an essential part of her wedding to serve tea to her parents and parents-in-law on her big day, she also found it thrilling to put on a white wedding dress and walk down the aisle with her husband. "I think it is nice to combine Chinese and Western wedding rituals," the 25-year-old said.

Wang of Lantern Wedding Planning said that in reality foreigners who are married to Chinese tend to like to incorporate more traditional Chinese elements into their wedding ceremonies nowadays.

"Intercultural couples seem to be more interested in seeing sedan chairs and dragon and lion dances at a wedding, whereas many Chinese couples tend to dismiss those as corny items," Wang told the Global Times.

Meanings in meals

Graced with a long and mouth-watering culinary history, the wedding banquet is usually the highlight of a Chinese wedding. Certain foods such as fish, chicken, lobster, crabs and lotus seeds are often served in special dishes to extend good wishes to the newlyweds at the feast which usually features nine or 10 elaborate courses.

Fish is considered a good omen as the word for fish in Chinese sounds the same as the word for "abundant," a metaphor that the couple will enjoy wealth in the future. Chicken cooked in red oil represents the phoenix and symbolizes wishes for a fortunate and future for the newlyweds. Lobster, which in Chinese means "dragon shrimp," symbolizes prosperity, longevity and the renewal of life. When lobster is served alongside chicken, it symbolizes that the yin and yang elements in the family are balanced.

The crab symbolizes a desire for peace, as the Chinese word for crab and the word for harmony are similar though with different tones. Lotus seeds chime in with words that mean "the continuous birth of children" and a lotus stem and lotus pod together symbolize marital harmony and fertility.

How to be a good guest

Being invited to celebrate a couple tying the knot is an honor, but attending a wedding in a culture that you are not familiar with can be stressful. To help you avoid being a red-faced blundering guest, here's some tips on wedding etiquette.

Gifts

The most acceptable gift at a Chinese wedding is cash in a red envelope. The amount of money you are expected to give usually depends on (and indicates) how close your relationship is with the newlyweds and your own income.

According to a 2010 article on 591wed.com, an online wedding information portal, for an ordinary friend or colleague, 200 to 300 yuan is appropriate and for a close friend or "sworn brother" a minimum of 600 yuan is expected. Make the amount an even number, but avoid the number four. Give your hosts the envelope in person at the reception desk or when they drop by your table for a toast.

Dress code

For wedding guests it is usually alright to wear "smart casual" - normally a suit for men and a dress for women. Women should avoid wearing black (considered unlucky) or white and try not to upstage the bride.

Words of congratulations

Congratulatory words from the guests are always welcome. Here are some four-character Chinese idioms you might find useful:

Bai tou xie lao: May you be each other's companions when your hair is gray.

Bai nian hao he: May your happy union last for 100 years.

Yong jie tong xin: May you two be of one mind forever.

Zao sheng gui zi: May you have a lovely baby soon.